Tiger is Too Busy To Play Golf

Tiger Woods made an announcement today. Try to guess what it is. Give up? Here ya go:

“I am deeply aware of the disappointment and hurt that my infidelity has caused to so many people, most of all my wife and children. I want to say again to everyone that I am profoundly sorry and that I ask forgiveness. It may not be possible to repair the damage I’ve done, but I want to do my best to try.

I would like to ask everyone, including my fans, the good people at my foundation, business partners, the PGA Tour, and my fellow competitors, for their understanding. What’s most important now is that my family has the time, privacy, and safe haven we will need for personal healing.

After much soul searching, I have decided to take an indefinite break from professional golf. I need to focus my attention on being a better husband, father, and person.

Again, I ask for privacy for my family and I am especially grateful for all those who have offered compassion and concern during this difficult period.”

In other news, there is a bunch of guys who call themselves “We Cheated on Our Wives Association” that have issued this statement:

“We regret to inform you that everyone in our group will not be coming into work today. We all need some privacy. Also, to clarify, privacy means we are trying to figure out how our wives found out about our trip to Vegas.”

I made that group up…but you get the point.

Rawwwwrrrrrr!

If you’re like me, you’ve had enough of the Tiger Woods news. So, let’s just make this a snow day….with tigers….playing golf. It could happen. Also, I could go back in time to 1960’s and become the fifth Beatle. That could happen too…if I could develop a time machine from a Delorean. The world is full of if’s and maybe’s…but the only known truth is that Tiger Woods likes two things….golf and sexting. See how I made it all come full circle…that’s not just lazy writing folks…that’s called working for the man.